tier-ranking every classic book (so you know which ones to read)

If you haven't read this, maybe don't bother. It's all about being kind of disillusioned and desensitized by war. And it's got some lovely lines but you know what, it is quite dull.

This is another book by Defoe which I Defoe-nitely would not recommend. Maybe this would've been good if I hadn't read it during our own plague year. I don't know. It wasn't for me.

A Single Man is the book that I wrote my dissertation on. I think this is brilliant.

I had great expectations for this book, but they didn't pull through. And you know what? It's being joined by 'A Tail of Two Cities' and 'Bleak House'.

Obviously, it's great and groundbreaking. We know this. Alice, you can sit right next to Dracula.

I would say these are probably the books that made me fall in love with literature, and I actually think they both belong at the top. ... the allegory for the Russian Revolution in 'Animal Farm' just blowing my little mind...

I enjoyed this a lot. So I think we're onto our second line in 'I think you dropped something... my jaw'.

Holy moly, what an exquisite book. It's about slavery, about making difficult choices, about family, about solidarity. Everybody say, 'Thank you, Toni Morrison.'

'Bleak' really is the word here. Do you know that someone spontaneously combusts in this book? Wild.

And 'Brave New World', also excellent.

is exceptionally sweet but it also just really irked me that the pig gets all the credit for the spider's work... So I have a bee in my bonnet about this book...

for me, is one of the biggest surprises out of any book I've ever read. I didn't expect to enjoy it as much as I did.

I love this book. Bram Stoker understood the damn assignment. And this book genuinely terrified me the first time I read it...

On the other hand is 'Dune', which sucks. In my opinion. It's a long story and it's very boring. I think the characters are one dimensional. It's all about spice and yet has none.

Now, Jane Austen put her whole austissi into this book. It's an absolute corker. I think it's her Magnum Opus.

'Fahrenheit 451' is another great dystopia.

such a brilliant book that I could talk about all day.

I had great expectations for this book, but they didn't pull through.

It's definitely a classic that I think everyone should read, but it's not necessarily one of my favorites, you know?

One of my favorite, favorite books that I read during my degree. It's about a brutal, horrible murder, and it's like the OG nonfiction novel.

It's a great story. It keeps you on your toes. It's about social class, religion, love, gender roles, and it did give what needed to be gave, I think.

let's not talk about the time where I read 'Jane Eyre Laid Bare', which is like erotic twist on the classic novel, because that made me want to twist my eyeballs out.

I remember this book being great at the beginning and at the end. It's just the middle that was the problem. I think the fact that it's so repetitive and monotonous is an artistic choice, but it's not one that I enjoyed.

Oh, it's just so good, and one of those few books where the movie adaptation just does it such justice. The women may be little, but my love for it is big.

I think, is a brilliant book. I think this is where you have to really separate theme from art, because the themes in this book are disgusting, and depraved, and horrible. But as a piece of art, it's brilliant.

If you haven't read this, you absolutely should.

is a book that I simultaneously enjoyed but also it reignited my big book fear. George Elliott both impresses and terrifies me with this book.

Do you wanna read a book about whale anatomy? No, me neither. ... it's literally time that I will never ever get back and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

This was the first book that I read for my English Lit degree, and it genuinely made me consider dropping out. It's a horrible book.

'1984' is a book that I'll just never ever forget reading. So I love them.

I actually don't think I felt happiness since finishing this book. The ending is traumatizing. ... Lennie just wanted to live off the fast of the land, and you know what? He can live in the land of jaw droppers. They deserve it.

Listen, I thought it was good. I was waiting for it to be great. Also, I do think it loses a point for inspiring 'Bridgerton' by Julia Quinn, because that book is possibly the worst thing ever written.

amazing twists. Thank you, next.

If you haven't read this, you absolutely should.

Pretty sweet, pretty naive, pretty basic. It's a self-help fictional book about listening to your heart and following your dreams, but it lacks a lot of nuance. No nuance, just vibes right here.

This is a book for people who are unstable, and I loved it. Ding, ding! We have a winner.

Literally scraping my jaw off the floor as we speak. This book is narrated by death itself. Genius!

People say it's a red flag if you like this book, and you know what, maybe I'm color blind. I liked it.

and truly 'crying' is the key word here. That's how it left me. I understood this book even less after finishing reading it. And you know what? I don't think that's a sign of a good book.

This is the first book, 'The Fellowship of the Ring'. I didn't get past this one. ... It's literally just a bunch of creatures walking. I felt like I was doing my DMV. And for me, the quality of the writing just wasn't good enough to justify that plot.

Iconic cover, iconic book. ... I know that I'm trash for devouring this book like it was an all-you-can-eat buffet. But I'm a basic bitch and I'm owning it.

My copy of this book is so densely filled with notes that it's actually now hard to read the actual original text... Such a textured book. So brilliant. It's at the top.

This is one of the few sci-fi books that I've ever enjoyed. I think it's really great. I love that it's ridiculous and revels in its own absurdity.

Now this is like if you had a favorite reality TV show that's been on for like 15 seasons and suddenly they do an all-stars show, but also it's a battle to the death. That's what this book is for Greek mythology lovers. Fantastic.

by my favorite Homer after Homer Simpson. Just phenomenal. We are going on 'Odyssey' to the top.

I'm not gonna lie, Oscar Wilde did what needed to be done with this book. It's a banger. It's a belter. It's a classic.

It's one of those books where it's a great story, it's had a huge impact on pop culture, but it's really horrible to actually read. That actual prose is kind of unreadable...

is pretty stunning, but it's a tough read. It's about masculinity, about traditions, language, pre-colonial life, and invasion...

More like to the top of the chart. This is a kind of stream of consciousness about time, about memory, about gender, about perspective, about loss and war.

is a masterclass in making an adventure really unbelievably dull. I don't know how they manage to do that but shoot it from the cannon. It's not for me.

also by Jules Verne, except this had me going, 'Who's Jules? Do I know Jules?' because it's so boring. It feels like you've been reading it for 20,000 pages. ... get in the bin

this is one of the most clever and celebrated pieces of fiction ever to exist, but it just went straight over my head, to be honest. ... I just don't have the smarticle particles for this book.

However, this book is pretty unreadable unless you speak fluent French, because for some reason, Miss Charlotte just decided to flex her French Duolingo streak over here. And aside from that, it just isn't really an interesting plot, so I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

Now this was actually written as a prequel to 'Jane Eyre', but it's by a different author, and it's all about colonialism. I think it's genius. ... I loved it...

I actually can't believe that Emily Bronte wrote a whole book based on that Kate Bush song. That's mad. And I do think it's gonna go in clothband classic. I like it.